Hey gang, so aside from my witty posts and nifty Twitter One Liners, i do perform comedy in front of a live audience not totally comprised of my friends and family.  this is one such instance.  Here's my set from this past Thursday (7/28/11) at Broadway Comedy Club.

As a fan of all things sports I as much as anyone want to see both the NBA and NFL lockouts come to an end.  But probably for different reasons than the rest of you.  Quite frankly, I am pissed off. 

The TIMING of  it all is atrocious.  Do the athletes have every right to contracts that they perceive as fair?  Absolutely.  Why? Because professional sports is one of the only businesses outside of prostitution where the people are the actual commodity. 

Do the owners have every right to negotiate the best rates in an effort to turn a profit on their hundreds of millions of dollars investment?  Absolutely.  However, the CLASSY, and correct thing to do would have been to extend the current collective bargaining for two more years. 

Why?  Because quite frankly, professional sports NEEDS to be the least of our problems as a nation. 

With unemployment over 9 percent, Our government talking about raising a debt ceiling by 2 trillion dollars as a short term fix, multiple foreign economies in the toilet, China considering bailing on the Dollar, Gas prices rising higher than my cholesterol, and foreclosures at one of the most rapid rates in history, our national economy is at a new record low.  So who do we turn to? 

We cant turn to our politicians, because somewhere along the way, they forgot that they actually work for the people that elected them.  Politics have become a matter of personal agendas, and appeasing the cash industries like Big Oil and Pharmaceutical companies that crap out medications that keep your toe nails from turning yellow but the side effects are anal bleeding and ulcers.  None of the checks and balances that were originally designed for our government are intact with any accountability or integrity.  So who do we, as Americans, turn to during grim and hopeless times like this? 

The same place we turn every time we need to escape: Professional sports. 

So in a time when people are losing their jobs and need an escape, instead of watching the boys in Green and Yellow throw the ball all over those sissies with the stars on their helmets, we have to hear how the millions of dollars they are making is not enough, and that billionaire owners are arguing over less than 5 percent of their revenue.  This isn't the time for owners and players alike to stand there with their hands out, it is time for them to come through for their fans, who desperately need them, and play the game.  There is plenty of time to argue over sums of money that most of us wont earn in our entire working lives when the economy recovers.

Another thing that happened recently was James Harrison, the fearless linebacker and in my opinion one of the top 5 defensive players in the league, made some comments in a magazine that got blown way out of proportion.  Did he say Ben Roethlisberger should stop pretending like he is Peyton Manning, and that he only got paid like him?  Absolutely.  But read the message, not the words. 

When I read that I read "Look man, stop taking unnecessary  risks on our side of the field and asking us to bail you out.  Yes you are being paid on the same level as Peyton Manning, but the expectations placed on Peyton, and what we are asking you to do within the confines of our offense."  Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are two of the best quarterbacks of my generation.  I grew up watching the true greats, The Elways, Montanas, Youngs, and Marinos, and I think that both players fit in with that crowd.  I would put Peyton up there next to Marino/Elway, but I might classify Brady with a guy like Aikman. 

Point of the matter is, Big Ben doesn't NEED to be THAT guy.  If Tom Brady and Peyton Manning had a running game like Pittsburghs, I am sure they would have no problem only throwing 25-30 times a game against single coverage. 

The point of the matter is

a) The media is always going to sensationalize quotes like these to draw intrigue to the story.  Read the context, not the quotes.

and

b) When did we become a society that expects people to say only nice and polite things?  Personally, I find it offensive that people make a big deal about Harrison calling Goodell a puppet and  Dictator, and then those same people turn around and watch reality tv hoping to catch some shocking contrived drama.  It should be refreshing for people to be honest with us for a change. 


I applaud Harrison for having the stones to say how he felt and to actually trust the media enough to be candid with them and invite him into the inner sanctum of his home and private thoughts.

I do have one suggestion for Mr. Harrison, however.  Learn from Desmond Howard.  I am not going to lie.  I have a huge level of respect and admiration for Desmond Howard.  In my opinion, he is entirely deserving of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and is already a member of the College Football Hall of Fame.  His accomplishments include two of the most prestigious awards in sports: The Heisman Trophy, and a Super Bowl MVP trophy. 

In fact, he won the trophy on my 16th birthday, and I remember being more excited about the Packers winning the Super Bowl than I was about getting my first car. 

A little back story, I became a Packers fan after the Oilers left town.  Most of my friends were either Cowboys, 49ers, or Steelers fans, but I liked the fact that the team was publicly owned, I liked their tradition, and I loved Lambeau Field in the winter.  I was a huge fan of Brett Favre, the gun slinger mentality and fearless attitude.  I was a huge fan of Desmond Howard because he was quick, fast, agile, and unlike most of today's receivers that are his size, he wasn't afraid to go over the middle.  None of those things are the reason that I hold Desmond Howard in such high regard. 

If you want to know why I hold Mr. Howard in such high regard, all you have to do is talk to him.  In spite of all of his impressive accomplishments and personal achievements, he maintains a simple humility.  He often addresses both praise and criticism with similar grace and tact, but he does not succumb to the pressure of saying only what people want to hear.  Instead, he will offer you his views and opinions in a blunt and honest fashion, but he does so with a mutual return of whatever respect you offer him. 

If James Harrison wants be able to speak his piece to the media honestly, and not be crucified for it, this is exactly what he needs to learn how to do.  You can respectfully disagree, and even criticize someone without it being perceived as vindictive.

At the end of the day, I wish more celebrities were this approachable.  In the end, when they make themselves seem approachable, and human, and sort of remove that shroud of celebrity, it allows us as fans to get closer to you.  If you want your fans to treat you as a normal person, then by all means, treat them with the same respect and deference as you do your peers.


Danny the Douche

Well kids, I know its been awhile but all of these retards just started blending together.  None of them seemed worthy of being mocked relentlessly - that was until some hick whiny tweenager from Washington State wrote into our dear friend Abby......

you know the drill.

DEAR ABBY: Dust and clothing have started to build up in my bedroom. I have told my mom and she doesn't do anything about it, and I'm tired of telling her! The mess makes it hard to live in. I think she does not love me since she will not do anything about the mess. What should I do? -- UNLOVED GIRL IN SPOKANE, WASH.

DEAR UNLOVED GIRL: Your mother does love you. What she's doing is trying to teach you how to be independent. The first thing you should do is pick up the clothes that are lying around in your bedroom. Any items that are soiled should go into the hamper to be washed. The rest should be hung up or folded and put away. Once that's done you will need to clean any surfaces that are dusty, including under the bed. If you don't know how, ask your mother to show you.

Now.....for my take


Dear Unloved Girl:  Are you fucking kidding me you ungrateful cunt?!  You remind me of my ex boyfriend from when I was 20.  Even when he was 21 his mother still did his laundry and made his bed.  That's a big reason why he's my ex and why he's an even bigger bitch in his adult life.

If your hands and legs aren't fucking broken and you can see perfectly fine, I don't understand what you mother has to do with your inability to clean up your own damn pig sty!  After all she's your MOTHER not an endentured fucking servant. 

I bet you most days while you're whining about this shit your mother wishes she had an abortion, or that your father pulled out.

Alright, so my twitter friend @DesmondHoward, yes THAT Desmond Howard, the newly inducted into the college football hall of fame Heisman winning, Super Bowl MVP, college football analyst posted this to twitter, and I think it raises some good points.

 

 

 

U.S. Women's Team deserves Serious Criticism
 

    Lets just nut up and face the facts shall we.  Women's athletics will never be the same as Men's.  That is not to say that they are not as good or better at some sports, they simply are not the same.  Before you act all butt hurt trying to be politically correct, let me explain why.  Women and Men are vastly different creatures.  The first key difference is the amount of testosterone in our bodies.  Testosterone is what makes men into menly men.  It causes us to grow and become stronger and faster.  I also have the sneaking suspicion its why so many Mexican women have mustaches.

 

 

                Lets go through each sport and compare the men and women's versions.

 

 

Football - The NFL versus the WPFL (Womens Professional Football League) -  Alright while most of you google that, yes there is Womens professional football.  Quite frankly, it is like watching a bad high school football game.  The quarterbacks have incredibly low completion rates... we are talking Chris Simms low, and the passes are just hard to watch.  The running game is very basic.  Tackling a person running straight forward... pretty easy task.... now try tackling someone with the freakish ability of a Barry Sanders, or wrap up a beast like AP.

 

 

Basketball - The NBA vs. The WNBA - These are two completely different sports.  The reason Men's basketball is so much more successful than Women's is the sheer athleticism involved.  Love him or hate him, there is probably no one that exemplifies this more than LeBron James.  Now go ahead and bring up the argument that he is a rare example, so I can counter with freakishly athletic people like Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Mugsy Bogues, Blake Griffin, Spud Webb.  The speed, agility, power, strength, and athleticism of the Men's game is vastly superior to that of the WNBA.  Now thats not to say that the WNBA is necessarily bad.  The difference is that they have made some minor tweaks by using a smaller ball, but the game is still almost entirely fundamental.  Bounce passes, 17 foot jump shots, bank shots, and 2 on 1 layups.  Honestly, to some extent it is like watching John Stockton and Karl Malone play.  As good as they were, and they were some of the best to ever do it, they were boring as shit to watch.  The entertainment value just wasnt there. Its even comparable to the San Antonio Spurs to a lesser extent.  They use sound fundamentals to win games.  While its great strategy and sound basketball, its fucking tedious to watch.  The WNBA should lower the goal to 9 feet.  Get a little dunking in on fast breaks, allow for some play above the rim, and suddenly its entertainment value is not so far inferior.

 

 

Hockey - Now first off, I fucking hate hockey.  Maybe its because I am from Houston, and the only pro team in Texas is Dallas, and that makes them shit.  Maybe its because I have never in my life seen a frozen pond or been on skates.  Hockey is just pretty boring as far as sports go in my opinion.  Its still better than most of the bullshit on TV though, but since I have never seen Womens Professional Hockey, lets stick with college hockey.  Men's college hockey is pretty blah, but Women's college hockey is complete and udder shit.  They aren't even allowed to check each other, which pretty much makes it ice soccer. 

 

 

Gymnasties - Thats what we call Gymnastics at work.  This is one area where I think the women's product is actually heads and shoulders above the men.  So why is that?  Because gymnastics requires you to be limber, flexible, and lean.  Typically those are all three categories better suited for women than they are men.  Have you seen male gymnasts? They are all 5'10 to 6'4 and built like Brick Shit Houses.  They have no excuse not to be playing linebacker in the NFL.  They also do some really retarded shit.  Are you seriously going to swing back and forth on that pommel horse thingy as fast as you can with your nuts dangling just inches away?!  Have you lost your motherfucking mind?!  Now look at the Women's floor routine and Uneven Bars.  Those girls do some crazy fucking awesome shit that requires way more athleticism than I could ever muster.  That shit is so impressive that I am usually captivated by it.  One problem I DO have with Women's gymnasties is that they all look like they are 12 years old, so at some point I feel like Chris Hansen is going to jump out and call me a child predator... just as soon as he gets out of divorce court.  Other than that, Gymnastics is one of the most spectacular things about the olympics.

 

 

Soccer- I grew up playing soccer.  It requires immense stamina.  That is not necessarily something that is gender dominant.  I feel that Women's soccer is every bit as good as Men's.  And I truly enjoy soccer.  Most of the time.

 

 

Figure Skating - For all of you that are about to call me a pussy, FUCK YOU!  Think about what these guys (and gals) are doing.  They are flying around on ice, on blades that are like 1 inch thick, jumping up in the air and spinning like a top on crystal meth.  And then they have to land on that same 1 inch wide blade in stride.  Not to mention, while doing all of that shit, often times the men are holding the women over their heads, while moving.  Figure skating takes a level of grace, strength, agility, and pure athleticism that is rivaled by very few other athletes.  I would be willing to bet that a figure skater could walk out on a football field for a pickup game and perform at a much higher level than a football player going on the ice and just trying to do even the most basic tricks.  This is another sport where Men and Women are equal.

 

 

Golf - The only real difference between women and men in golf is length.  If you take the distance factor out of the equation, women and men could be completely equal. 

 

 

Tennis - Serena and Venus Williams.  Enough said.  In my opinion women's tennis is better than men's.  Maybe its the dresses.

 

 

NASCAR - Women... driving.... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

 

You might notice that I left Baseball and Softball off of the list.  That was by design.  They are completely different sports all together and that is what allows them to exist so harmoniously.  They don't have to compete with each other.  Women's softball is great to watch.  Every bit as good as baseball.

 

 

At the end of the day, Women suggest that they want their sport to be treated equally.  No they don't.  If they were treated like men, the US Women's Team would have been criticized mercilessly.  What Women really want is for their sports to be seen as important.  They are simply going about it in the wrong way.  In the sports in which the competition is physically direct, that being  the person you are competing with is a direct physical barrier against your success.  In those types of sports, men are dominant.  We are  stronger, faster, and far more aggressive.  Sportsmanship and morals fly out of the window almost completely.  Basketball players come to blows, as do football and hockey and baseball players.  The competition is so intense due to all of the testosterone that the tension is palpable.

 

 

At the end of the day, we need to cut the equality bullshit.  There are things that men are flat out superior at.  There are some things that women kick our asses at.  So instead of trying to cram the WNBA and WPFL down my throat, leave that shit to the men, and focus on the sports where women are truly just better suited for it.  The differences are there, embrace them.

I'm reposting my Stand Up from December of 2010 and January of 2011 so that way those of you who just started following me can see what it is i'm about and what I do.  Unfortunately the set I did when I opened for Colin Kane wasn't taped but i'll have new sets coming at you this summer!

and hey if you like what you see and want to book me, email me: Nixster@theoriginalnixster.com

I get into this argument, for lack of a better term, religiously with my parents.  I get their views on it as they both grew up in households similar to that of the Bunkers.  And I don't mean that in any sort of derogatory way.  When my parents were growing up in Italian and Irish Catholic neighborhoods in the 1950's and 1960's there was a lot of this sentiment with the adults. 

And I'd be willing to wager a bunch of money that if they were around, there still would be.

But while the world and society have evolved, a lot of these mindset's have not.  And again, I get it.  Its difficult to take a fiber of your being: In this case the fundamental religious belief that 'Marriage' exists solely between a Man and a Woman: and change how you view it.  And for anyone to challenge that core belief, its going to ignite passionate and sometimes hurtful truths that not all of us can accept.

This is probably the biggest reason I am no longer a practicing Catholic in any regard.

I probably read the Bible as a child, mostly for religious educational purposes.  But when I think back about how God was described to me it was always done so in a way that made him seem a lot more loving and caring and far less damning, hateful and vengeful.

I was always told "God loves all his children" without the amendment "...unless they're gay" tacked anywhere in there.

But as you get older you start to see thru all the bullshit and begin to realize that Catholicism, and in a way Organized religion as a whole, is nothing more than one big brainwashing operation.  Complete with each Denomination struggling to prove to you why their God and their set of laws/rules/codes of conduct are more relevant to your life than anyone else's.

And, at the heart of all of that, we forget that we are all Humans.  And that we should all love each other for who we are, not what God we believe in.

As a heterosexual Woman in America I'm grateful of all the freedoms and opportunities offered to me, well except for if I was an employee at a Walmart, and I'm grateful that if I wanted to marry any man in this country I could.  And i'm also grateful that, like Elizabeth Taylor and Larry King, if I wanted to divorce and then marry, and then divorce, and then marry again - so on and so forth - I can do that as well.

But I almost feel guilty that while i'm afforded those rights, several of my wonderful and amazing friends - are not.  Even more so because I have no desire to ever marry.

But to know that they are consistently denied the ability to have that giddy feeling of walking down an aisle; albeit maybe a court house aisle; and looking at their bride or groom to be, standing there with love and anticipation for them to join together in front of a judge, or pastor, with the same love and admiration any impending bridge or groom would have for each other - well it disgusts me.

We tell ourselves, when appropriate, that there is a separation of Church & State in this country and that's the way it should be. 

But if that was the case, all of these lawmakers and lobbyists and religious zealots would have ZERO say in what defines love.  Because in my personal opinion all those talking heads are nothing more but hot air and a whole lot of unhappiness.  What, because your religion doesn't believe in this kind of LOVE and because its not defined how you want it to be defined, it doesn't exist?  Guess what?

Too.  Fucking.  Bad.

I applaud those 33 lawmakers in the state of New York who finally wised up and realized that when it comes down to who wants to marry who, its none of their business what the sexual orientation of those individuals are. I mean people - have you ever watched an episode of Jerry Springer or Maury??  And you're worried that Gays will ruin the sanctity of marriage?

Puh-Lease!

And of course, the Bishops of the Catholic Church released a statement:



Statement of the Bishops of NYS on same-sex "marriage" vote
Posted: 6/24/2011

We strongly uphold the Catholic Church’s clear teaching that we always treat our homosexual brothers and sisters with respect, dignity and love. But we just as strongly affirm that marriage is the joining of one man and one woman in a lifelong, loving union that is open to children, ordered for the good of those children and the spouses themselves. This definition cannot change, though we realize that our beliefs about the nature of marriage will continue to be ridiculed, and that some will even now attempt to enact government sanctions against churches and religious organizations that preach these timeless truths.

We worry that both marriage and the family will be undermined by this tragic presumption of government in passing this legislation that attempts to redefine these cornerstones of civilization.

Our society must regain what it appears to have lost – a true understanding of the meaning and the place of marriage, as revealed by God, grounded in nature, and respected by America’s foundational principles.

The only thing 'undermined' Mr. Bishop is your intelligence.


And of course, it does nothing but prove the ignorance of organized religion and why it will eventually be obsolete in the future.  Because if you continue to believe that people fit into these archaic molds than you're doing nothing to benefit society and doing everything to work against its progression and evolution.


So Bravo New York for finally doing the right thing, and at the right time.  Hopefully now everyone will wake the fuck up and realize its not about Gay or Straight but about the basic right to be allowed to be who you are, love who you love and not be denied the right to share the rest of your life with that person just because some lawmakers or religion doesn't agree with it.



Besides Religious people, what are you so afraid of anyways?  That these people will finally be locked into the same miserable and sexless marriages you are?  Ha, yeah right.  We all know the gays have WAY more fun!

Its inexplicable, the draw that this band has for me.  I'm obsessed - but not in a Glenn Close cooking a bunny on your stove when you get home kind of way.  I want to pick their brains and find out how it is they come up with this stuff.  The lyrics, the melody.  Its just.....Soul Saving would be an amazing way to put it.

The Album itself, 'Sigh no More' is timeless.  I bet you can listen to it 20 years from now and it will probably be even more amazing than it is now.  I want to see them live and I will do so....hopefully sooner than later.







Lyrics to Awake My Soul :

Well, not really.  But lately people on Facebook have been posting, what can only be described as 'MySpace Surveys'.  You remember, those silly surveys that didn't really offer any new answers to your friends but were more cryptic hints and jabs at your enemies & exes?  Yeah well now that the MySpace generation is in the Facebook world it was only inevitable that eventually said surveys would find their way back to us.  And they have.

I'm bored at work right now so fuck it, why not go for the gold I say!

_____________________________________________________________________

Was the person you last texted single?
I hope so

Say something to one person, no names?
Jameson please

Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
Of Course

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better?
slow & steady wins the race

Are you a forgiving person?
Depends on the person

Now your cell phone, what color is it?
black

Last text: Who was it from?
Branca

Have you ever slept in someone else's bed?
Seriously?

Is there any chance you will kiss the last person you kissed again?
Nope

Is any part of you sad at all?
Sad i'm actually filling out this survey, yes

If you had the chance to move to a completely different town, would you?
been there, done that

Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the worst?
Next! 


You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, any problems?
I'd be impressed you found them!

Do you remember all the people you've kissed?
No way

When someone tells you they love you, you say?
I know

Are you mad at someone right now?
nope

Where were you 2 hours ago?
Where I am now...work

Are you wearing socks right now?
nope

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
hope not

Have you ever taken anyone/anything for granted?
Who hasn't?

Did the last person you kiss deserve it?
I guess so since they're fighting for our country

Sunrise or sunset?
both

Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?
For a Billion? Shit i'd kill almost anyone for that amount of money!

Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
dumbest question ever 

Have you ever had feelings for your bestfriend's significant other?
HA!

How many times did you ride in a car today?
3 times.....Oh wait RIDE in a car.  Then, just once

Have you ever had a bestfriend of the opposite sex?
Indeed I have

Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
Mother Nature

Is your birthday on a holiday?
My birthday IS a holiday

Do you like road trips?
No, I LOVE them

Would you ever get a tattoo?
another one? why not 

Would your parents be mad if you came home drunk?
At my age I don't come home to parents

Can you make a dollar in change right now?
who carries "change" now a days

Last person to lay in your bed besides yourself?
my dog

So, you have brown eyes?
indeed I do

It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
Someone in LA (drunk usually) or my job asking me to work

Do you have a bestfriend that knows you inside and out?
luckily i have two

Where EXACTLY were you when you entered 2011?
"Entered" that sounds so.....dirty

Ever jumped over a fence?
back in the day when i was young, i'm not a  kid anymore...

Do you like to cuddle?
depends

Would you ever donate blood?
i have before

Do you like the smell of coconut?
what kind of question is this?

______________________________________________________________________

This face evokes a lot of emotions from people...

Pictured above is none other than Casey Anthony.  A woman who is currently being tried for the accused murder of her daughter Caylee Anthony, 2 years old. 

This face evokes even more emotions from people...

I say accused because despite what we have all decided, and what is more than likely true, our country gives her the right to due process.  So she's allowed to plead 'Not Guilty' and go through a trial in order to prove why it is she's not guilty; not why she's not innocent. 

Because remember its Innocent until Proven Guilty.

And whether you agree with it or not, is not the point.  The fact remains this is the way our Country operates and frankly, considering the way the justice system works in other parts of the world with the guidelines of  'Guilty until you give up and just agree so we jail you for life or kill you' its really not that horrible.  Sure there's bound to be mistakes and incorrect judgements but that's because we are human.

But back to my point; I'm not trying to pen a dissertation here about the pros and cons of our legal system as compared to that of the rest of the world.


I've been mildly observing this trial.  Mostly because my main job involves working in News in some capacity so its pretty hard to escape.  And while I respect that some people are drawn to the details of this accused murderer and the case and spend hours watching it and reading about it online, I saw something the other day that made my stomach churn more than almost anything else had previously...






The most telling thing about this video aren't the punches being thrown.  Nor is it about the people who line up before dawn to witness a murder trial.  Nor is it about the way the country and the media has sensationalized this particular case and given Casey Anthony almost Rockstar/Cult like status.  Its about the graphic in the lower right hand of the screen.

The graphic that shows a smiling Caylee Anthony with the words THE VICTIM above that angelic face.

This country has long been on a road to ruin.  And while I'm not trying to preach from the top of a soapbox, nor am I anyone to take a Moral high ground against the majority of the population, I can and I will call bullshit on people when its appropriate.

This is that time.

America, our priorities are beyond skewed.  We value standing in line to get seats to a murder trial over waiting in line at Airports with flags to greet the Men & Women who are overseas fighting for the very freedom that allows you to make a spectacle of yourself and this trial.

We've propped actors, actresses, musicians, politicians and twits socialites into this realm of God like worship and have forgotten about what matters.  About how the Midwest is suffering from Tornadoes that they may never full recover from, emotionally or structurally.

About how Wildfires are ravaging the western United States.  Unemployment is above 9%.  People can't put food on the table, buy gas to get to or from work, afford medical treatments or prescriptions to aid in their health but please America - PLEASE keep putting this trial on the front cover.  Keep buying those tabloid magazines that show the latest star with Nude photos that have leaked.  Keep tweeting, and facebooking, and reading Perez Hilton or TMZ to escape the reality that we're all going to have to face when we finally wake up.

We're all completely fucked. 


And then my mother wonders why it is I don't want to have any kids.  Its not because I don't want to leave them burdened with a 14 Trillion dollar national debt and live to see the fact that the United States will more than likely become a third world country when its spending and loaning to everyone else has finally caught up with us.  Its because i don't want to have to explain to my child why it is this world is the way it is, and where it all went wrong.

Can you blame me?

A fellow comedian wrote this about what had occurred with Tracy Morgan in a comedy club in Tennessee recently.  i asked her permission to "Publish" it because frankly, its a very insightful and intriguing point.  While I personally do not agree with Morgan and how he went about "working out" his material, I do recognize as a comedian that everyone has a moment.

Read this and then hit the comments with your thoughts!

_____________________________________________________________________

Tracy Morgan Sucks, But So Do You
By: Amy Carlson

On June 4th, average citizen and comedy enthusiast Kevin Rogers wrote a note on Facebook about an anti-gay rant he had seen from Tracy Morgan at what was supposed to be a comedy show.  The note has gotten world-wide media attention and has led to public outrage, prompting an apology from Morgan and statements from his coworkers and NBC, all without even seeing a video. While I personally am not a fan of Tracy Morgan’s comedy and I think what he said was incredibly ignorant and unfunny, for me this whole incident highlights what is wrong with society more than it exposes the shocking truth about Tracy Morgan.

 

To me it seems like this rant was probably a bit that he hadn’t developed yet and threw it out there anyway in its rawest form.  When it wasn’t working he probably panicked and got angry and decided to heighten the shock value instead of abandoning the bit.  This is purely conjecture of course because again, I haven't seen a video.  Comedians see this kind of thing a lot at open mics so they’re probably a little more desensitized to it than non-comedians; that’s why you save that kind of shit for the open mics and you don’t go throw it out to civilians who don’t understand that it’s not necessarily that you’re a hateful person, it’s that you’re a horrible comedian who hasn’t yet learned that shock value has to be balanced by wit and good writing.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t take risks, I’m just saying you should choose your risks carefully in this day and age.  George Carlin is quoted as having said, “I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately”.  In 2011, you’re better off finding out where the line is drawn, drawing another line two feet behind it, and crossing that line.  Sorry George.  The revolution is over.

 

In this day and age, free speech isn’t really free.  Free speech is free if it is free of hate.  And that’s fine I guess.  Freedom of speech has to have restrictions because people are too stupid to not be incited by a powerful speaker who uses hate to unite like-minded and weak-minded people.  We have to protect society from messages of hate, because society is mostly made up of sheep and savages who will act on them, too dumb to think on their own and too weak to break away from their immediate sphere of influence.  Human beings need censorship for the same reason they need religion: because common sense and common decency are not that common and not enough to keep people in line.

 

Everyone is fucked up.  The people complaining about bullying are just as bad as the bullies, and hate is fought with hate.  Over the past couple of days I have seen several people condemn Tracy’s rant, calling it bullying and anti-this and that, and then saying things like “He must be mad because he has a girl’s name”.  So you’re outraged about bullying and homophobia but you still resort to making fun of a person’s name because it is traditionally used for the opposite sex?  I bet when Tracy was in elementary school, it was the kids like you who were bullying him.  Kids like you, who would torment a boy for having a “girl’s name” are what create this kind of monster. Many of these same people accuse Tracy of being a closeted homosexual, which I agree he probably is, but I bet if people hadn’t been making fun of his “girl name” and calling him a homosexual all his life he wouldn’t feel the need to be closeted.  He wouldn’t be so afraid and ashamed of it.

 

The rant as it’s described is not even really hateful towards the gay community per-say.  He said being gay is a choice.  That is an opinion and, in and of itself, not hateful I don’t think.  Personally I don’t agree with it but I don’t think there is any conclusive scientific evidence to prove otherwise.  He also didn’t say he would like to kill all gays.  He didn’t say he would, or you should, kill a gay on the street.  He said he would kill his own son if he was gay.  Again, ignorant and unfunny, but I don’t think society as a whole would mind so much if he killed his son.  America would be obsessed with the scandal and the subsequent trial (please see Casey Anthony).  You’d eat that shit up.  You would repost it a thousand times on Facebook and use it as an example to support your particular agenda; black-on-black crime, homophobia, self-destructiveness in comedy, whatever it may be. You’d write a blog about it and it would get you lots of attention and accolades. A comedian that very night would go up on stage and tell a joke about it and get an applause break. America loves celebrity scandal and horror more than apple pie with a scoop of vanilla.  No one is even that horrified that he said he would kill his own son.  They are too preoccupied with the reason why and the fact that it is not politically correct.

 

NBC released a statement regarding the incident that urged Tracy to educate himself on “why such words have no place in our culture today”, but clearly they do have a place.  The blog written by Kevin Rogers that originally brough this to light describes the crowd during Tracy’s rant as responding with “thunderous cheer and ‘You go Tracys’.”  So there is an audience for it.  The “God don’t make mistakes” thing is a pretty common hardcore Christian belief.  There are a lot of people who truly feel this way.  Maybe it’s not so much that Tracy Morgan is fucked up, maybe it’s this whole society that’s fucked up.  Maybe today, it’s not so much the comedian’s duty to cross that line that was drawn so long ago, it’s the comedian’s duty to hold up a mirror to society and show it just how ugly it has become.  And if that’s true, Tracy’s work here is done.

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