Defensive Driving BLOWS
If you follow me on Twitter then you know I had to sit thru the first 4 hours of an 8 hour Defensive Driving course. Well Teacher Jay, as he called himself, was weirder than Michael Jackson - and that's saying a lot. He had several pearls of wisdom to bestow upon me, and I observed several things about him and the class, so now i'm going to share them with you.
- Teacher Jay: "Man what did I eat? So much gas....its cause i'm old"
- According to this guy if you use a quarter for a coin toss, more often than not it will come up heads. You're welcome men.
- He is currently making me write the phrase "I am worth it so I won't risk it". Maybe he should've talked to the girls on '16 & Pregnant'
- He keeps talking in 3rd person and resembles an even sadder version of George Costanza
- His shining example of drug & alcohol abuse is Heath Ledger; apparently he hasn't watched entertainment news in over 3 years
- His description of Jail: "Its full of spoons that have been turned into weapons and a lot of not nice people"
- In the video 'Your Choice' they show a kid doing a keg stand and the fat girl dies, while her skinny friend lives
- Teacher Jay "You there in the corner, do you know the answer"
Nixster "The answer is No"
Teacher Jay "That's right"
- The entire time I fully expected the Intervention camera crew & my parents to walk in and say "Do you know why we've brought you here today?"
- He mentions the 'Dew Drop Inn' as the imaginary bar he'd go to in order to drown his sorrows at least 6 times.
- Apparently you can't go to a party if you're not drinking because someone will roofie you and/or spike your drink
- He pronounced Dewars as "dew-wars" as if it was two words
- Apparently if you're upset about life, going to the bar to drink away your sorrows and find someone new to hook up with is not the answer.
After he made that last statement, I realized all i was doing was live-documenting my nightmare so I just started writing the words "HELP ME" over and over on a piece of paper. Have a Defensive Driving class nightmare?? Share it!
- Teacher Jay: "Man what did I eat? So much gas....its cause i'm old"
- According to this guy if you use a quarter for a coin toss, more often than not it will come up heads. You're welcome men.
- He is currently making me write the phrase "I am worth it so I won't risk it". Maybe he should've talked to the girls on '16 & Pregnant'
- He keeps talking in 3rd person and resembles an even sadder version of George Costanza
- His shining example of drug & alcohol abuse is Heath Ledger; apparently he hasn't watched entertainment news in over 3 years
- His description of Jail: "Its full of spoons that have been turned into weapons and a lot of not nice people"
- In the video 'Your Choice' they show a kid doing a keg stand and the fat girl dies, while her skinny friend lives
- Teacher Jay "You there in the corner, do you know the answer"
Nixster "The answer is No"
Teacher Jay "That's right"
- The entire time I fully expected the Intervention camera crew & my parents to walk in and say "Do you know why we've brought you here today?"
- He mentions the 'Dew Drop Inn' as the imaginary bar he'd go to in order to drown his sorrows at least 6 times.
- Apparently you can't go to a party if you're not drinking because someone will roofie you and/or spike your drink
- He pronounced Dewars as "dew-wars" as if it was two words
- Apparently if you're upset about life, going to the bar to drink away your sorrows and find someone new to hook up with is not the answer.
After he made that last statement, I realized all i was doing was live-documenting my nightmare so I just started writing the words "HELP ME" over and over on a piece of paper. Have a Defensive Driving class nightmare?? Share it!
Posted by Original Nixster at 10/7/2011 7:44 AM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Comedy Life Cant Make this up
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Comedy Life Cant Make this up
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