I have been writing ever since I can remember.  And I don't mean in the sense that I can't remember back to when I was 3, I mean that ever since i knew how to write words and what they meant, I have kept a journal of some type. I got my very first Journal in 1988 - 4th grade.  The next year my paternal grandmother passed away.  I used it as an outlet, as a way to express what I didn't want to share with anyone else.

It may come as a shock to some of you, but I wasn't very popular in elementary, junior high or high school.  Sure, i had my little niche in groups i found, but i never truly fit in with any one group of people.  More often than not people made fun of me for having frizzy hair, for being awkward, or for being heavier than most other girls in my class. 

I have kept these journals, every single one of them, and often times I read thru them to remind myself of how far i've come and how amazing I have somehow turned out.  Its also good because it reminds me that not everyone is born into their greatness; contrary to Lady GaGa's belief; and more often than not, most of us don't truly hit our stride until later in life.

In rereading these entries i am reminded how at 8,18 and even 23 some of the most traumatizing moments of life are truly the most character building.  And how crushing blows of loss can either propel you into a depression so deep you never think you'll see the light again, or how they can be the spark to make a change that can truly be life saving.

I don't claim to be an expert in anything.  I don't claim to have had a horrific upbringing fiscally or emotionally from my parents.  Matter of factly my parents sacrificed so much to give us the lives they always wanted for their children and did what they needed to do, and made the sacrifices they thought they needed to make so that we'd want for nothing.  I'm forever grateful to my parents for all they've taught me and put up with from me over these years.


So now, i'm getting back to the basics or writing and of going on a new journey of self-discovery.  I plan to journal this next year and share some of my past entries with you.  I want people to read about me and I want to share my life in the hopes that it inspires others, of all ages, to never be afraid of who they are, or who they've been.

Nixster