DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and pregnant. The father of my baby is my stepbrother. It's my fault because I seduced him when we were home alone. Last night my sister said I need to go on a diet because I'm gaining weight, and she joked that I look pregnant. I don't think she has any idea that I really am.

I won't be able to hide this pregnancy much longer. My parents will go crazy, and my stepbrother will also be in major trouble even though it isn't really his fault. I can tell you my mom will not be understanding. Please help. -- DESPERATE FOR ADVICE

DEAR DESPERATE: You're right -- this is major trouble. But your parents have to be told, not only because your pregnancy will soon become obvious, but also because for the sake of the baby, you must have prenatal care. If you are afraid to tell them by yourself, then approach them with the help of another adult, either a close friend or a relative you can confide in. The only thing you shouldn't do is wait any longer.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating a woman who is a prostitute and have developed feelings for her. The problem is her "job" gets in the way. I thought I could be OK with this, but I am not. She says she needs me and wants me in her life. She has talked about getting another job, but nothing ever happens. What should I do? -- MY NAME'S NOT JOHN

DEAR NOT JOHN: This woman has already demonstrated that she is not going to change professions. What you should do is find a woman who isn't a prostitute and whose profession doesn't "get in the way." It will be healthier and less frustrating for you.

And now my turn...


DEAR NOT JOHN: You are no better than the twenty-something year old girl who latches on to a guy she thinks is "Oh so Great" but who has obvious commitment issues and will never change for her.  You are the ass to forget her nastier ass she's had earlier in the day and i truly hope you've been double bagging her.

But you know she's a prostitute and this leads me to believe that you're a client that got too caught up in the pussy and now you're hooked like its heroin and you just can't let it go.  But guess what homie, ya need to. 

Prostitutes, Escorts, Whores - whatever you want to call them - make a lot of money without having to do a lot of work.  You're telling me homegirl is gonna give up the Gucci and Prada bags and flip burgers just to help heal your bruised little ego? Nut up man! You're outta your mind.  Get a clue and move on and stop whining like a 12 year old girl with a skinned knee.

Nixster

Ok kids, here's our final one and while its tame compared to the first two, I think I drove home the point to this twit.

DEAR ABBY: The other day my boyfriend discovered my diary and started reading it even though I asked him not to. I took it away from him, and he accused me of hiding something from him. I'm not hiding anything, it's just very personal. Is it wrong that I prefer to keep my diary a private matter? -- NOTHING TO HIDE IN NEW YORK

DEAR NOTHING TO HIDE: No, it's not wrong. Many people who keep journals also prefer to keep them private. What is wrong is your boyfriend snooping in the diary after you asked him not to, and then accusing you of hiding something from him when you told him it made you uncomfortable. If you have given him no reason to mistrust you, that's an indication that he is insecure and doesn't respect boundaries. And it's a red flag.

 And now my turn...

DEAR NOTHING TO HIDE:  You're wasting Abby's time with this horseshit!  Get a real fucking problem like seducing your stepbrother or dating a prostitute and then try again.  Until then, grow the fuck up and tell your boyfriend that if he reads your diary again you won't put out.

He'll quit that shit faster than you'd believe.

Nixster