Alright fellas you read what the Nixster wrote, and if you want to have that happen to you, you need to put in some work. The best work you can put in, is showing a little appreciation. The best way to do that is to return the favor. Then again, they are women, so they will know that you are only doing it because they did it for you. Instead, get out in front, take the alpha strike.

Women love surprises, and nothing will earn you points than initiating a little romance. There are several ways to do that: You can send her flowers, or plan a romantic evening, or line the floor with rose pedals and leave a trail to the bath tub where theres a hot bubble bath with candles lighting the room, some soft music playing and a glass of wine waiting. Those are all fine and good things, but sometimes they like a little excitement just like us men do. So give it to them.

Wait for her to come home one day, and before you even say a word, just pin her to the front door and start kissing her. Use soft, well controlled kisses. Let her know that shes being kissed by a man, not drooled on by the dog. Reach your hand around her waist and pull her in close. Really plant one on her. Give her your best and baddest right then and there. If you are a pro, throw in a little tongue trick. once she starts leaning into it, she is yours for the taking, but instead of leading her off into the bedroom, just spin her around and GENTLY pin her to the door. Women like feeling dominated but do not like feeling like they cant get away, so make sure they know they could get away with just a little effort.

Start kissing her neck just below her hair line. This isnt an article about kissing so I am not going to tell you how to do it, needless to say just do your best. While you are doing that, start sliding her shirt off. Now every man, even the gay ones, love boobs, so take the time to give a gentle massage and maybe get some nipple play in. Start softly kissing down her bare back while you work at the button of her pants... Before you take the pants off, reach down the front and check the temperature, but she should be ready.

Take her to the couch (if you have a comfortable couch, everyone appreciates a change of scenery) and lay her down. Drop to your knees and slide off her pants...

Now here is where the real lesson starts: I am going to assume most of you dont know this, because lets face it, most of you dont know how to give a woman one orgasm, let alone know that she is capable of having two different types and can have them at the same time, but its true. So remember, this next part isnt about you at all, its all about her.

Start by holding her hands, and playfully kissing up and down her thighs. Stare up into her eyes while you do this. Thats all of you she will be able to see, and it will drive her wild. Reach back and grab her by the hips, pulling her forward to you. Gently let your mouth graze over the warm swelling mound. Kiss it softly. Women cant stand to be teased just like we cant, so DO IT! When you reach the top, let your tongue slide down between the lips and let it slowly move down, but when you get to the center, just flick it back and forth slowly. Start to suck the lips in and out gently. The goal is to get her to start grinding her hips against you. If this hasnt started yet, slide your tongue in, and let it tiwst from side to side and flick up and down. Your goal is to get 2 inches in and flick towards her stomach. You should feel a little bump. Thats what you are aiming for. Now if you can multitask you should be rubbing her clit while you do this. Once the hips get going, pull your tongue out and slide your finger in. For the next bit, you are pretty much using the theory of beginner drummers, where your finger is going to lay out the bass beat. Now that doesnt mean that it has to go in and out only. In fact I encourage you to slide it in and shake it from side to side, flick it up and down, whatever tricks you know you can do. The important thing is to get into a rhythm.

With your tongue you need to slide the tip under the hood just above your finger. That is where you will find the mysterious and magical clitoris. That is your best friend. Learn to work it like a lawnmower at a ball park. Start by running the tip of your tongue in circles around it, letting them get tighter and tighter, and then start brushing it back and forth slowly. As you begin to speed up, you should speed up the bass beat with your finger. Start sucking it in and out, but as soon as you feel her getting close (you will know because every muscle in her lower body will tense, and if you are doing it right, she should be practically choking you with her thighs.) When you get to that point, suck the clit in and hold it there, while you have it sucked in, flicker it back and forth with your tongue. Let it fall out just long enough to get a breath, then repeat. You want to create a pulsating sensation with your mouth. At this point leave the finger in and try and tap that bump (the mythical g spot) as fast as you can. Just a few minutes of this should leave her completely relaxed and incredibly grateful. Now since you have put in this much work, I would encourage you to continue putting in this kind of effort the rest of the night.

You'll earn serious points.

Now go. Be one with the clit.
Danny the Douche